Recent Convictions

December is usually a happy, lighthearted month.  It's a month that is centered around family and friends, and giving to them, serving them and fellowshipping with them.  I love this time of the year because no matter how much your heart desires to give to people or serve them or even fellowship with people, it's hard to make yourself do any of those during the rest of the year with such a busy and hectic life; December gives you an excuse to make the extra time and spend the extra money on others.  Although December is an amazing month for happiness, I also think this is a time when our sin is more evident.

The past couple of weeks of December I've been feeling convicted for a few different things, and I wanted to share some of them with you all...because I'm hoping I am not alone!

1.  I'm so selfish.  While shopping for gifts for my family and close friends, I'm bombarded with really amazing sales through email or in the store.  I don't know if you guys have noticed, but this year is the year for cheap clothes.  I get at least one 50% off email a day and while that's really good if you're intentionally buying a gift for someone, I found myself shopping for myself instead.

2.  Anxiety still tempts me.  I have battled anxiety for about 3 years now.  Before allowing The Farmer into my life as my boyfriend, I went through a lot of social "drama" that really took a toll on my body and my mind.  Since then the constant threat of allowing anxiety to control my life has been an issue.  It does not come in the same form as it used to, but there are always little situations that leave me forgetting who my God is, and what the real purpose of this whole life is about.

3.  I have too many "things".  I look around my house and in my car and all I see are random, little things everywhere.  Who needs this many things?  No one.  My life would be much simpler if I didn't have as many material items to worry about.

4.  I need to strive to have a simpler life.  I should be content with my small kitchen and my out of date bathroom; I should be happy in my cozy livingroom and bedroom.  I want to clean out the spare room and get rid of clothes I don't need and other items that I don't need and give them to people who do need them.

5.  Pride.  I think every human being has pride inside of them.  It comes in many, many different forms and is expressed in multitudes of ways.  Most of the time, I don't even realize I'm being prideful until after the fact.  I definitely need to be more on guard.

6.  I need to give more time and money.  I have to give more time to serve and I have to give more money that will go to further the kingdom of God.  This past Summer I found myself empty.  I realized later that I was empty because I was not giving my body and heart to the Church like I should have done. Once I had this realization I decided to try prayer. I prayed a simple prayer: "God, I want to help you.  Please give me an opportunity to serve this Summer".  Not even twelve hours later I was asked by our children's' minister to help teach 5th grade girls on Wednesday nights and to this day, it is one night I always look forward to. That is one prayer God will answer really quick! Since praying this prayer recently, I have had the opportunity to "host" the Dress-A-Thon and it has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.  I can only keep praying that God would continue to put opportunities in my path to serve Him and His people.

These have been really heavy on my heart lately.  I can only pray that God continues to change and mold my heart to be more like Him.

Heavy laden,

PS:  If you need prayer don't hesitate to email me at!