The Hard Part

It's all starting to get harder.  

I never really knew how hard it would be to try and have bible study, keep laundry and dishes clean, my house picked up, do homework, and still have time to relax with my husband and do things we enjoy doing.  In the back of my head, I knew this would be a hard task to juggle, but I had no idea how awful you begin to feel about yourself when you come home and you were too tired to do the dishes the night before, or you had too much homework to wash any clothes and now, you have none.  I didn't know this would be a reason to hate yourself. I mean, girls always struggle with weight, looks, etc. but I didn't know that girls will all eventually struggle with how messy their home is. No one ever talks about this part of the complex sphere of insecurity.

Your house becomes a place of negative energy.  I know this sounds crazy, but when I walk through the door to see pillows not in order and blankets everywhere and clothes not folded and dishes not cleaned, it makes me want to run somewhere where order resides; where chaos isn't welcome.  

So, how do I fix this?

1. I must remember that my God is bigger than my mess. Psalm 31:5 says, "Into your hand I commit my spirit; you have redeemed me, O LORD, faithful God."  I think this verse should bring comfort; when I read it, I don't just see the word "spirit", I see implications of "home", "mess", "life", "chaos".  When you commit your spirit to the hand of God, know that your whole life is in His hands, even the chaotic mess of your mundane life.  Your worth is not in how much laundry you complete, or how many dishes you wash a day, your worth belongs to the God of the universe.

2. Know that I am in a season of life.  Life is full of new experiences and new chapters and right now, mine is a messy, unorganized chapter.  School, marriage, friendships, work and God sometimes don't mesh in perfect harmony with each other, but even through my stress filled weeks and days of feeling hopeless, I see beauty. You have to remember that your life is beautiful, God made no mistake in putting you where you are.

3.  I have to make a schedule...and attempt to stick to it.  I'm a list maker.  I have lists for almost everything and I have to stay on top of them, but unfortunately, I've never been a schedule person.  Here is a tentative schedule I have made for myself, I thought someone else could use the help as well:

Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday
6:30 AM - Wake up, make bed
7:00 AM - Breakfast
7:45 AM - Get ready for the day
8:00 AM - Leave for school/work
4:30 - Get off work/school
4:45-5:45 - Go running or to the gym
6:00 - Get home, start fixing supper
6:30 - While supper is cooking, organize living room (fold blankets, fluff pillows, etc.)
7:00 - Eat supper with The Farmer
7:30 - CLEAN DISHES directly after eating, no exceptions!
8:00-9:00 - Freedom: watch a movie, sew, crochet, board games, anything!)
9:30 - Get ready for bed (yes, we like sleeping...a LOT, so we go to be somewhat early most nights)
10:00-10:30 - actually try and sleep

*This day is weird, The whole school/work part is the same, but afterwards it all depends on the week.

8:00 AM - Wake up, eat breakfast
8:30 AM - Start laundry
9:00 AM - Turn on favorite show for background noise
9:30 AM - 12:00 PM - Focus solely on laundry and other cleaning endeavors.
12:30 - Eat lunch
1:00-3:00 - Freedom
3:00 - Turn your focus back to cleaning if you haven't already finished laundry/sweeping/dusting etc.
4:00 - By now you should know if you have made plans for the evening, if you have, start getting the stuff you need ready (If you're going to the movies:  get tickets, snacks, money ready; if you're going to a friend's home for a group night:  get food/game/etc. that you're bringing over ready; if you're cooking for people:  organize the ingredients and get it all ready to go.)
5:00-6:00 - Freedom
6:00-6:30 - Get physically ready for your plans.
7:00-end of night - enjoy time with people!

7:30 - Wake up, eat breakfast
8:00-8:45 - get ready for church
9:15-12:00 - Church
12:30 - Sunday Dinner 
2:30 - Relax at home or friend's house
5:30 - Start fixing supper
6:00 - Eat supper
6: 30 - DO DISHES directly after meal, no exceptions!
7:00 - Put in a movie and have a lovely night with The Farmer.
9:30 - Get ready for bed
10:00-10:30 - Go to sleep

I hope this tentative schedule helps lay out what may work for you. It's really helped to see this written down.  

Have a beautiful week,